By Daniel Bobinski
The concept of emotional intelligence does not focus solely on emotions. A good EQ training course also involves learning about behavioral styles, cognitive styles and motivational styles. One key to success in working with any group of people is, “value the differences,” and one must employ that principle across all the various styles.
Years ago I was conducting EQ training for a large corporation, and one of my friends, also a trainer and author, happened to be in town. She had written a book on diversity and was accustomed to looking at that topic through a cultural lens. Because she was available, I asked her to co-facilitate a day of training with me to provide her perspective on diversity.
Part of that day’s training was on DISC behavioral styles and how each style brings different strengths to a team. I should also state that one phrase I always use in EQ training is, “value the differences.” My friend was not familiar with DISC language, but as the day progressed, she showed increasing interest in its application.
If you aren’t familiar with the DISC model, it’s a framework for understanding behavioral and communication styles. I always use DISC when teaching EQ, in part because each behavioral style has an affiliated emotion. Therefore, when you learn behavioral styles, you also learn to identify someone’s tendency to display certain emotions.
Here’s a brief outline of the styles:
Core D: The “D” stands for dominance, because people who score strong here usually like to dominate problems. When they see a problem, they strive to resolve it. Such people are often known for taking action and meeting deadlines. The associated emotion here is anger. That is, they’re quick to get angry, but also quick to become un-angry.
Core I: The “I” stands for influence, because people scoring strong in this area usually like to influence others. With fast, creative minds, they often think outside the box. Such people are inspired by a shared vision of future possibilities. Their associated emotion is optimism and enthusiasm.
Core S: The “S” stands for steady, as people scoring strongly in this area tend to prefer stable and predictable situations. They are supportive and loyal, working long hours without much need for recognition. They also want to know what’s expected well in advance. The associated emotion here is actually low emotion. It’s not that they don’t have emotions, they just tend not to show them.
Core C: The “C” stands for conscientious, because people scoring strongly in this area tend to be careful and meticulous. They prefer analyzing concepts with logic and taking time to think through their decisions. The associated emotion is fear, because people scoring strong here prefer to avoid the consequences of a bad decision.
So, why was my friend so interested in the DISC model? In her words, it was, “real diversity training.” She saw that behavioral differences needed to be valued, and that if more people made a choice to value behavioral differences instead of criticizing them, then the workplace would be much better all the way around.
I couldn’t agree more. What about you? Are you choosing to value the differences?
