By Daniel Bobinski
One of the most powerful choices we can make – whether at home or at work – is gratitude. Being thankful acts like a reset button that clears tension and frustration. The cool thing is that choosing to be grateful is entirely within our control.
On the flip side, one of the most damaging choices we can make is resentment. Letting bitterness simmer creates barriers that can tank teamwork and kill productivity.
Whenever I teach on this I start by asking people to identify situations in which they harbor resentment or bitterness, so let me ask you the same thing. Yes, this means getting brutally honest with yourself, and yes, it requires some vulnerability. To lower the barriers, let me share an example from my own life.
A few years ago I was in the market for a used bookshelf. Surfing online marketplaces, I spotted the perfect bookshelf. It was solid wood, exactly the right size, and it was free! The post said, “First come, first served. It’ll be on the front porch until it’s gone.”
I grabbed my keys and rushed out, imagining how the bookshelf would look in my office.
On the way I hit a red light. Then another. Then another. My body was tense with frustration. When I finally arrived at the address, someone was loading the bookshelf into their SUV.
My thoughts raged. “If only I’d seen the listing five minutes earlier!” “If only those stoplights weren’t red!” My mind spiraled, feeding my resentment.
Later, when pondering what happened, something clicked. I realized my anger was a choice, and that I didn’t like being angry. Then, I realized I could choose a different behavior. So, I chose to replace the bitterness with gratefulness.
The next time I left my house to pick up a free item, I did something differently. I decided to be thankful and celebratory no matter the outcome of my trip. I chose to be grateful that someone (maybe me, maybe someone else) was getting something useful at no cost.
Here’s the key point: Both resentment and gratefulness are choices.
How does this apply to our work? Resentment, envy or bitterness can emerge for any number of reasons. You might get passed over for a promotion. Someone else gets assigned a high-profile project. A coworker gets credit for something you contributed to. Whether something unfair or unjust happens (real or perceived), resentment brings angst and division.
But you can choose differently. If you find yourself feeling bitter about something at work, why not look for ways to have gratitude?
This doesn’t mean being a doormat or pretending problems don’t exist. It means choosing to focus on what’s working rather than obsessing over what’s not. Why? Because it can pay off. The Journal of Positive Psychology tells us that employees who practice gratitude regularly report 31% higher productivity and significantly lower stress levels than their peers who don’t.
Bottom line: The next time you feel resentment creeping in, know that you can choose gratitude instead. And the choice, as they say, is up to you.
