By Daniel Bobinski, Th.D.
Life is usually a game of whack-a-mole. You handle one problem and two more pop up. Add the aspect of high-pressure decisions and the stress gets real, creating what feels like an emotional minefield.
Two of the biggest players in this arena are gratitude and resentment. If you aren’t already aware, one makes you stronger while the other eats you from the inside. But the good news is you get to choose which one wins.
The Danger of Resentment
Let’s hear the bad news first. Resentment is a sneaky little emotion that creeps in when we feel slighted or unappreciated. It might start with some small event, such as someone else getting credit for our work or someone lashing out at us despite our best efforts. If we don’t forgive and move on, it’s easy to let those moments simmer and boil up to feelings of resentment.
The problem with resentment is that it doesn’t just sit quietly. Before long, it starts seeping into our conversations. This can lead us to being short with others or bitter about policies, and before we know it, we’re caught in a cycle of negativity that poisons our interactions and drains our motivations.
The real downer is that every moment we spend in resentment is one less moment for us to enjoy peace of mind.
The Gratitude Antidote
You might not realize it, but there’s actually power in gratitude. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, if we choose to be grateful for what went right and for whatever learning occurs, we actually gain benefits.
Research shows that gratitude improves our resilience, boosts our mental health and strengthens our abilities to be good collaborators. In other words, if we make a habit of recognizing and being thankful for the good going on around us, we train our brains to see opportunities for success and growth.
Imagine two professionals working the same grueling shift. One is consumed with frustration, saying things like, “I always get the toughest assignments,” or “No one ever appreciates what I do.” But the other says things like, “That was a tough case, but thankfully, we handled it well,” or “Despite the obstacles, the team really did a great job today.”
Same job. Same stress. Completely different attitudes.
Choosing Gratitude
How can we make gratitude our default? Allow me to offer a few thoughts.
Pause and reflect. Before ending your workday, take 30 seconds to identify at least one thing that went well and give thanks for it.
Acknowledge others. A daily “thank you” to a colleague builds bridges.
Reframe challenges. Instead of saying, “Why do I always get the hard assignments?” try, “I’m glad I have the skills to handle tough situations.”
Bottom line, life will always resemble whack-a-mole, but what can change is our response. Resentment keeps us stuck, and even weighs us down. But having gratitude and being thankful helps us navigate challenges with a clear head, and that leads to peace of mind.
Daniel Bobinski, is a best-selling author and a popular speaker at conferences and retreats. For more than 30 years he’s been working with teams and individuals (1:1 coaching) to help them achieve excellence. He was also teaching Emotional Intelligence since before it was a thing. Reach him by email at DanielBobinski@protonmail.com or 208-649-6400.
