By Daniel Bobinski
For the past three or so decades, leadership literature has emphasized, “know thyself.” That replaced decades of leadership books that focused on skills such as strategic thinking and management abilities. Not that those skills aren’t important, but organizational psychologists found that when a person understands his or her own style and limitations, that person is better at knowing how to navigate complex interpersonal dynamics. These skills are valuable for getting buy-in when implementing strategies.
That sounds like a powerful discovery, except that the concept of know thyself is nothing new. The Greek phrase “gnothi sauton,” (know thyself) was found inscribed on the Temple of Apollo in the ancient city of Delphi, Greece. The words are also found in various Greek writings dating back to the 5th and 6th centuries B.C.
With that, we can say what’s new is old, and that solid principles stand the test of time. Today, we’ve also learned that know thyself is the cornerstone of what we call emotional intelligence (EQ).
EQ has been defined several ways. Some definitions describe the process well but are too long to be useful. Others are short but not all that accurate. Thus, I set out to create my own: An ability to perceive and assess one’s own and other’s emotions, desires, and tendencies, and then make the best decision for all concerned on how to move forward.
The cornerstone of EQ is self-awareness.
Self-awareness means knowing our own tendencies. However, because the concept of personality is huge, I like to discuss our tendencies in three distinct aspects, as it makes “personality” easier to understand. Those aspects are head, hands and heart.
- Head represents our cognitive style. This includes the ways we perceive and process and make decisions.
- Hands represent our behavioral style. This is the way we respond to problems, workday pace, procedures, and the people around us.
- Heart represents our attitudes and value systems. It’s what we care about. Some call this facet our motivators.
Self-awareness means acknowledging we have strengths and weaknesses. This is not always easy! I remember when my first coach had me take a DISC Assessment 35 years ago. The DISC model has to do with the hands facet of our personality – our behavioral style.
A good DISC assessment points out our strengths and weaknesses, and I have to say, as I looked over my DISC results, I tried to stay composed, but inside I was devastated! Right there on the paper some of my weaknesses were listed! I didn’t want weaknesses. I wanted only strengths!
Despite it being uncomfortable, good EQ means we acknowledge our weaknesses as well as our strengths. It’s powerful, because when we recognize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, we are better able to understand others, and that makes us better managers and leaders.
I should add that we can’t stop at simply knowing these things about ourselves. The real value of self-awareness comes in accepting ourselves as we’ve been designed. We must learn to play to our strengths and find ways to shore up our weaknesses. Then, as managers and leaders, we can help others do the same.
– Daniel Bobinski is author of the best-selling book, “Creating Passion-Driven Teams,” and president of Leadership Development, Inc. He’s been helping organizations of all shapes and sizes since 1989. Learn more at eqfactor.net or reach him at DanielBobinski@protonmail.com or 208-649-6400.
