By Daniel Bobinski
After all these years, I’m still a huge fan of Stephen Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” If you’ve not read it, allow me to recommend it. And if you’ve already read it, let me recommend you read it again. That book lays the groundwork for a lot of what we now understand as emotional intelligence.
One of the key takeaways from 7 Habits is examining the lens through which we see the world. Why does that matter? Because the lens we use affects everything we perceive, and if we’re not careful, confirmation bias can distort reality.
For example, if your foundational belief is that people are lazy, you’ll subconsciously notice behaviors that reinforce that belief. The same thing happens if you think people are selfish. In other words, we see what we believe. And, as Jordan Peterson is fond of saying, we usually don’t see things we don’t look for.
Understanding this is crucial for personal growth, especially at work, where everyone sees things through their own lens.
You should know that emotional imprints play a big role in confirmation bias. Think about it. When we’re young, we don’t have control over the events around us. We simply observe things as they happen and experience emotions that come with those events. For example, imagine a two-year-old encountering a snarling, barking dog. If a parent nearby starts yelling or screaming, the child picks up on that fear and it imprints the child’s emotional core. If multiple such encounters occur, a fear of dogs can become long-lasting.
Thus, a confirmation bias forms. It’s automatic: dogs are scary. Our brain locks onto that belief, and, if not overwritten, carries that conviction into adulthood.
What’s more, our brain’s chemistry complicates matters. When something we experience aligns with our beliefs, our brain’s reward center lights up, making us feel good. On the flip side, if we encounter a situation that challenges our beliefs, it triggers a mental “warning” signal. It’s like our brain throws up a huge neon sign, saying, “Danger! This doesn’t fit! Avoid!”
These confirmation biases don’t stop forming when we grow up. Think about this: Imagine you had a terrible boss – scruffy hair, obnoxious attitude, and always wearing the same brand of untucked shirt. After years of working under that person, the thought of them just makes your skin crawl. Then, months after they leave, a new co-worker shows up wearing that same shirt style, also untucked, with scruffy hair to match. What do you think your first reaction will be? Odds are it won’t be positive.
This is the power of emotional imprinting. If a belief has deep emotional roots, it’s hard to challenge it, even when new evidence suggests we should. That’s why I recommend revisiting Covey’s book. It’s not just a book about productivity – it’s a tool that helps you rethink the way you see the world, and hopefully break free from limiting beliefs that get in the way of your growth.
