By Marilynn Preston
People leading active, healthy lifestyles may be great parents, but let’s not kid ourselves: Raising a vibrant, engaged child these days isn’t a piece of cake.
Are cola drinks making them fat? (Yes.)
Are smartphones taking a toll on their developing brains? (Yes, again.)
And why did schools cancel gym and end recess when every shred of research shows that’s exactly what kids need in order to learn better, stay alert and handle stress? (Oops. A huge mistake.)
The more we learn about the challenges kids are facing, the more I’m motivated to re-issue the Theoretical University of Wellness’s first five Golden Rules of parenting, a guide to the trying task of guiding your child’s hood.
1. Eat Real Food
You are the most important teacher your child has. If you eat well, so will they … eventually. Some will rebel, of course, and bury Oreos in their backpacks, but all the research shows that parents are vital role models for their kids. So dig down and walk the talk: Read labels, learn to cook, limit sugar, and serve up a lot of plants, not things that were made in plants. Kiddy see, kiddy do.
2. Take Action
It’s never too late to clean up your act, not to mention your pantry. Declare your house to be a processed-food free zone – neon magic markers are made for this – and engage your kids in the game of getting rid of stuff with ingredients they can’t pronounce. For extra credit, start your kids growing some food: Small pots of delicious things like cherry tomatoes can cultivate healthy changes in eating habits. As you’re roasting your kale chips, explain to them that most foods and drinks in school vending machines are “the enemy.” You don’t have to name names – though Coke and Monsanto scream out for recognition – but let your little ones know that this new “real food” policy is irreversible, with one exception, described below.
3. Honor the 80-20 Rule
No one’s perfect, and striving for perfection is what gives us headaches, back aches and sleepless nights. So as part of your real food kitchen makeover, set aside a corner shelf for your family’s special treats. (I can find my blue corn tortilla chips in the dark.) It’s all part of the brilliant and simple 80-20 Rule: 80 percent of the time you eat real food – vegetables, fruits, nuts, beans, whole grains, healthy fats and fish, limited high-quality meats – and 20 percent of the time, you’re freelancing into forbidden territory. The funny thing is, after years of eating in a balanced, nourishing way, your body stops craving junk. Wait. You’ll see. So will your kids.
4. Help Your Child Find Their Sport
There’s a sport for every child. Your job is to guide yours to the one that feels like fun and brings out the best in them. Soccer can do that, but so might Aikido. If your kid isn’t wild about the traditional school sports, encourage him and especially her to explore a long list of alternatives, including wall climbing, Irish dancing and, of course, yoga. Be a cheerleader for their participation, and don’t force them to be competitive. In general, children play to have fun. Adults play to win. One of the biggest wins you can experience is to raise kids who are playful and active all their lives, young people who feel good about their bodies, their strengths, and understand what team spirit is all about.
5. Have a Strategy For Stress
Kids have stressful lives. We all do, but when you’re young, you need parental guidance to help you notice when stress is making you cranky or tired, and what to do about it. Again, role modeling is key. If your kids see you shouting, angry, drowning your stress in a gin and tonic the size of a flower vase, they won’t have a clue how to deal with their own difficult moments. Having that stress talk with your kids is just as important as the sex talk. Try taking family instruction in meditation or mindfulness, including breathing exercises. Learning to come back to the moment – to calm our anxieties, to still our busy minds – really is child’s play.
Marilynn Preston is a healthy lifestyle expert, well-being coach and Emmy-winning producer. She is the creator of Energy Express, the longest-running syndicated fitness column in the country. She has a website, marilynnpreston.com, and welcomes reader questions, which can be sent to MyEnergyExpress@aol.com.
